Last night I finally crawled into bed at almost midnight. I wasn’t there for more than five minutes when I felt my heart being stirred by the Lord to get back up and spend some time with Him. I was so willing to do that. This was something I had been praying for over the last couple of weeks. I always spend time with the Lord, everyday in fact. But most of those times I am the initiator of it. He always meets with me when I call on Him. He promised He would! But there is a time even more precious…a time when He calls out to me! A time when He is the initiator!
I jumped out of bed and went to my office without the least hesitation; grateful for the call to spend time with Him. I sat there for a few moments asking Him what He wanted me to do to prepare my heart and mind to receive what He wanted to say to me. I picked up the book I had “stumbled upon” called “Jesus, Life Coach” and began to read…waiting to find what direction I was to go to hear from Him. What was the focus of this particular time to be? So many things had been going around in my mind and heart for these last couple of weeks. I had been really sick and having a hard time focusing on anything productive, and I was feeling a little lost as to where to get started again. I was even feeling a little guilty about all the time that I felt had been wasted trying to cope with my health issues.
I had not been reading for very long when I felt impressed to get a notebook and pen and begin to take notes on what I was learning. As soon as I picked up the pen and opened the notebook, He drew me away from where I thought I was going, and started speaking to me. As I wrote it down, it was as if I was hearing it as I was writing it. These were not my words…they were His! (This happens to me a lot, so I know that writing is a very important way of opening my mind to receive what He wants to say to me. I am much more sensitive and receptive to Him when I do that.)
I will not share all of what we said…just those things I feel I can. I am so excited about all of it because it addressed so many issues I have been dealing with…and praying about. And I know this is just the beginning of the understanding that is going to be opened up to me. I really think there will be answers and even, in some cases, confirmation contained in this book He lead me to. (I did not go looking for this book…He brought it to my attention at the second hand store.)
So this is what He said:
“I want you to do some things differently. This does not mean stop the things you have been doing…it means change the way you are doing them. What this means is enlarge; branch out; “come up higher.” Be more diligent to set goals and persevere to reach them. Pursue greater challenges. Come to a place of greater maturity by allowing your dreams to grow past the child-like stage of `imagining’ and into the adult-like stage of `fulfillment.’ Be willing to work hard; be fully committed to seeing the goals reached; and step out, by faith, into wherever those things take you. Be bold! Be strong and courageous! The Lord, your God is with you!”
Everything contained within those words confirmed the things I had been feeling for quite a while but just didn’t know quite how to say them or even how to express them to God in prayer. All I knew was I was feeling discontent with the level of growth I was seeing in myself. This has been an amazing year for me, with so many new things in areas that I had never walked in before. It has been a time of great joy and a sense of satisfaction in the things I had worked very hard, with His help, to accomplish. And yet, as the days went by lately, I have felt a deep sense of there being something more…something that was being birthed within me.
Last night those words validated everything that had been stirring within me. And I really believe, as I read this book, it will add to and help me to understand how to do some things to bring about what the Lord requires of me. It’s exciting just to think about it! The most important thing is that He has already assured me that He is with me. So I will take it one day at a time, one step at a time and be as faithful to Him as He has been to me…if that is possible. I certainly will need His help to do that too. I will redeem the time He has so graciously given me and honor Him in everything I do. I am ready for whatever that entails and grateful for the opportunity to do His will. Remind me, Lord, every day, of the things you have spoken…both from Your Word and in the stillness of my own heart.